By any other name

The dreaded C word!

The first thing that comes to mind when someone hears you say "I am going through chemotherapy" is...cancer. When I told my family and friends that I was going to have chemotherapy infusions, many of them couldn't help but wonder what type of cancer I had. Fact is, I have not been diagnosed with cancer, rather a rare autoimmune disease which requires a type of chemotherapy that attacks the CD20 protein on the surface of my immune system B-cells. When my Rheumatologist first told me I would need this therapy to treat my Dermatomyositis symptoms, she explained that it was technically chemotherapy, but it wasn't.

     Yes, Rituximab is chemotherapy, but technically speaking, it is a chimeric monoclonal antibody, which means that it is a mixture of human and non-human antibodies. In this case, we are talking about mouse antibodies and human antibodies. These antibodies in Rituximab are used to treat some cancers, but that is not the only purpose of the drug. It is also used to treat many autoimmune diseases, such as Rheumatoid Arthritis, Autoimmune Encephalitis, and Myositis (all types).

     So why do they refer to it as chemotherapy? Why not call it antibody infusions? Well, chemotherapy is a mixture of chemical substances used to treat diseases, especially cancers. So why are they calling it chemotherapy when they are actually antibodies of creatures, such as humans and animals, and not chemical agents? Doesn't matter! It's still chemotherapy.

     As for me, I call it go-go juice. Not because it is juice at all, but because I am expecting it to make me go-go again like I used to. See, there used to be a time in my life where I would go and go and go. A great friend of mine used to say that I was going "Full-tilt Boogie!" This was true. I was high on life and on a quest to provide for my daughter as a single parent and give her the best life. I literally never stopped and barely slept. Each day, I would get up and go...and go. My body never tired from all the hard work. I often rewarded myself for all the hard work I did by getting massages. I swore by them and the healing waters of the Colorado Hot Springs. Then, cut to my move to my hometown in Michigan. I resigned from the job I took to move back here and the stress of that difficult decision took a toll on my body. I started to slow down physically and mentally. Before long, I had this stupid diagnosis, which led to my infusions of Rituximab.

     The first infusion gave me a burst of energy and temporary pain relief in my hands. At one point in time, I actually got excited because my knuckles were a little less red than the day before. But that excitement faded away before long as the relief was only temporary and were back within a couple days. Bummer! I wanted to be able to get up and go again like I used to. That's all I want. My Go-go juice is supposed to combat the symptoms of this disease so I can go-go. I am waiting for that to happen and eventually, it should. I realize now that it really isn't go-go juice after all. It's just an infusion of possible hope, a mixture of mouse and human antibodies, a treatment that will provide temporary relief for now, but not lead to a cure and called by no other name than "chemotherapy".